Tarnished Innocence

Qhira 🌸🐘🌸

"Your ass is grass and

I'm gonna mow it"

-Tina Belcher

Insta: @qhirarj

  • (Source: voyeurchic, via prettyree1527)

    • 77
    • 77
    • 361967
    • 361967
  • vanconcastiel:

    ninjanaomi:

    castiel-on-top-of-the-tree:

    rhamphotheca:

    Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

    NO NO NO NO

    WRONG

    SO VERY WRONG

    LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG

    IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND

    SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING

    IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.

    IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.

    IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.

    PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

    DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

    THINGS TO REMEMBER:

    -DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.

    -DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.

    -DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.

    -DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.

    -BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.

    -WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

    -DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.

    -IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.

    -SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.

    WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

    it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.

    This is super important. But also.

    The Virgin asshole of satan

    (Source: tattoolost, via sharada-the-astronaut)

    • 120982
    • 120982
    • 80167
    • 80167
  • (Source: obamaflakes, via that-funny-guy)

    • 108453
    • 108453
  • gladersgrievers:

    OMG {credit:unknown}

    • 432
    • 432
  • (Source: pamuksekerlipasta)

    • 1273
    • 1273
  • (Source: hoechloin)

    • 3177
    • 3177
  • erensjunk:

    I have read enough fanfiction to know where that is going

    (via whittynovels)

    • 59224
    • 59224
  • People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any

    • Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
    • Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
    • --
    • Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
    • Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
    • Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
    • Juliet: That was dumb of you
    • --
    • Romeo: We should get married right now
    • Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
    • Romeo: Like tomorrow?
    • Juliet: Sure, fine.
    • --
    • Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
    • Romeo: Right.
    • Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
    • --
    • Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
    • Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
    • Juliet: For fucks sake.
    • 39052
  • bagmilk:

    presenting in class like

    image

    (Source: heteroh, via ohwando)

    • 186739
  • mcsofty:

    i should really stop developing crushes on people i can’t touch

    (Source: nothomo, via ohwando)

    • 433817
  • carryonanddontblink:

    buffywouldntdothat:

    avatar-14:

    goodnightandjoybewithuall:

    me as a teacher

    Me talking to the director who made a movie about the book

    me being a good friend 

    There are three types of people.

    (Source: bookjunkie26, via confessionworld)

    • 645731
    • 645731
  • iwasrepeals:

    manylifehacks:

    Use a hanger when you need to type reports/papers! 

    this blog just saved me so much time!

    (via ruinedchildhood)

    • 15932
    • 15932
  • lulz-time:

    I actually can’t cope with this

    (Source: lepipehd, via confessionworld)

    • 711470
    • 711470